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Men’s Pre-Sex Checklist

soapBefore having sex there are a few things men should keep in mind. Remember that when your preparation meets an opportunity, you find success.

Some of these are obvious, but I’m including them just in case:

1) SHOWER – there are times that you don’t have time to shower because of the circumstances (you’re about to smash a girl you just met in the club or parking lot, or maybe it’s just a quicky behind a dumpster). But when you do have time beforehand, make sure you take a good shower and wash EVERYWHERE.

2) SHAVE – I’m not talking about your face, I’m talking about your man-area. Most women don’t want to navigate through a jungle to get to a tree. Keep it neat. You don’t have to completely shave it off, but at least trim it a bit (and that goes for your underarms too!).

3) CUT YOUR NAILS – How you’d like it if a woman started to scrape the roof of your mouth with her nails? Then think about it! Women don’t want that feeling in their vagina neither. (By the way, always wash your hands before doing anything around a woman’s vagina. Your dirty hands and fingers can cause an infection down there if you’re not careful.)

4) WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR AND SOCKS – Nothing makes a woman stop giving you a BJ more than spotting some nasty skid marks on your boxers. Have some sense and make sure your underwear are clean. If they’re not, it’s better to wear NO underwear than dirty underwear. Also make sure that when you take your shoes off that the smell coming your feet and socks don’t hit her in the face. Wear clean socks, and if you know you have a feet-stink problem, find a way to fix that.

5) CLEAN YOUR AREA – Whether making love at home or banging in your car make sure your area is clean and that it smells clean. Most women don’t like to have sex on top on one-week-old nachos. Don’t be lazy and clean the space where you plan to have sex. It won’t take you long and it will pay off. Besides, you should do that for your own good.

6) HAVE GOOD BREATH – I don’t think I have to explain this one. But just in case, make sure your breath don’t stink because absolutely NO ONE (male or female) likes it. And notice I didn’t say “brush your teeth”. Sometimes brushing your teeth is not enough. You have to make sure your breath is fresh by any means necessary when you’re having sex. Imagine a big dog breathing on you while you’re trying to get turned on… Now that’s close to what a woman feels like when you’ve got that hot onion breath and you’re breathing on her trying to “turn her on”.  Keep some gums or mints handy right before the act. Suggestion: Keep the mints by your condoms.

This is a concise, must-do list. This list, of course, is just a basis for a very long list each man must abide by. Will all vary on the individual, and some men unfortunately will never read this. SHARE IF YOU CARE.

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