Anything Except What I Want

Anything Except What I Want

Destiny has played the worse tricks on me all my life.  I can have anything in the world… except what I want.  How horrible is that?  I feel so powerless.

Through my whole farsad of confidence and cockyness lies a very confused man.  I have no clue about anything.

I feel God has given me some sort of gift, yet I don’t know how to use it.  It’s like I have a super decked-out computer and I don’t even know how to turn it on.  Like if I have a brand new luxury car and I can’t even drive.  It’s frustrating.

I don’t want to be seventy years old when I finally get to learn to be myself and then die of a heart attack.  What’s the use of that?

I’ve got the opportunity of going to China for a year and dedicate myself to Shaolin Kung Fu.  It’s a big possibility but I’m too concern about what I’ll be missing out on during that year.

I’ve learned little by little to let go of material wants; yet it’s not enough.  I need to let go of mental, emotional, and physical wants as well.  To realize that regardless of the life we live we all die at some point.

I have to dedicate myself to something worthwhile but I’m too afraid that I’ll choose the wrong thing to dedicate myself to.

Life is a big illusion.  I’ve been living life for a long time and I’ve realize that nothing is real.  Everything is temporary and all life must end.

It’s painful to die and it’s painful to grow.  It is painful to live.

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