Dealing with myself.

Sometimes I have a hard time dealing with myself. Why? Because I’m freaking crazy. I’m nuts. I’m not even kidding.

I truly believe that there’s a thin line between creativeness and craziness. I don’t talk out loud to myself or anything like that, but I sure do think to myself a lot.

I very seldom have suicidal thoughts or the such, nothing above what the average person would think about, because, if we must face it, we all have thought about what it would be like to kill yourself. Especially after hearing someone has done it. We try to figure out what they were thinking.

But enough of that, my crazy thoughts are a little different. More in the “what if” realm. What if this happened? What if that happened? From there the thoughts get more elaborate by the moment, and sometimes they reach a good creative conclusion, or other times they get more confusing and never end at all.

I feel like sometimes I abuse my own body’s chemical release system. Like I manipulate whatever chemical gets released when one’s depressed, at will. Other times whatever chemical when one’s excited.

It takes me so long to focus sometimes, and I can’t help but to work on more than one thing at a time. I can’t just pay attention to one thing.

Now I don’t think I have ADD or anything like that, because I’m really not hyper, or unable to complete something, and my focus, when disciplined, is there.

I feel like I get bored easily. I get distracted, willingly. I’m a prisoner to my own procrastination. Just wanted to note what I’ve been noticing about me.

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