So I got an email from Mike from the Bronx… “Hey Keu, what are some of the things you hate?”
That’s such an extensive question that I had to narrow it downto Things I Hate About My Girlfriend
I love my girlfriend… but…
I hate her deodorant. Secret.
And it’s no secret that fucking deodorant stinks. Sometime I end up wearing it when I run out of my deodorant and end up smelling all powdery fresh all day long. All fucking mountain spring-clean. Try going to the gym and exercising while you smell like if you took a bath in rose petals and a baby diaper. When I wear secret I smell like I’m on my period and fucking random guys start hitting on me on the street for no reason.
I hate when my girlfriend leaves hair stuck all on the bathtub drain, on the sink, in the floor, in my ass. How the fuck did my girlfriend’s hair get stuck between my buttcheeks? I’m pulling and pulling. I haven’t seen her in two days, where the hell this hair come from?
I hate when she wakes up from a dream. And I did something bad in the dream. So now she’s mad at me in real life. What the fuck? It’s a dream. I was not part of an orgy with Cleopatra and the Queen of England! Is that a nightmare or what?
I hate when my girlfriend is mad at something and I don’t know what she’s mad about. She gives me that silent treatment. What’s wrong? Nothing. Oh, something’s wrong, because if not I wouldn’t be asking you that question. And if nothing was wrong then now something is wrong because I think you think something is wrong.
I hate when my girlfriend eats my food. Not because I don’t like sharing. But because she has her own food. And I hate when we go to a drive through restaurant and she doesn’t order or just orders a salad. Because she thinks if she doesn’t order it – it doesn’t count. So she eats up her salad AND my burger and fries. But I guess only the salad count.
I hate when my girlfriend doesn’t make a choice of where to eat. Where you want to eat? Where do YOU want to eat? I asked you. And that fucking conversation goes on for 20 minutes or until an argument breaks out and I just end up eating a cup a noodles I hid in the cabinet in case this situation ever came up.
Oh yeah, and I hate that she can’t wait on a 3 minute ride back home so that we can actually eat. As soon as they give us that bag through the drive through windows she’s opening that sucker and going to town on everything in that bag. My order, her order, she don’t give a damn. Then I get home and I end up with a half-eaten burger, like two fries at the bottom of the bag and a cup of ice.
I also hate when my girlfriend is in the mood to clean. Because it’s always when I’m sleeping or in the middle of doing something fun.
The above are some of the things I mentioned in this video: