These some of the things I hate about Valentine’s Day:

• Cupid
• Wearing Red
• You have to outdo yourself every year
• We’re not going to give each other anything (but that’s a lie)
• You have to post something on Facebook about what you did for Valentines
• Sending cheap ass flowers, co-worker’s flowers look better
• $5 flowers being sold for $700
• Nasty ass heart candy
• TV shows are all about love
• Valentines is saying “Fuck You” to single people
• Ending up not having sex on Valentines