Public Transportation

Why do weirdos love riding the train?

I love taking Public Transportation because it literally transports you into a different world. A world filled with weirdos, weirdos, and more weirdos. It’s a gathering place for the crazy.

In my 31 years of God-given life, I have NEVER been on a bus or train where there wasn’t someone talking to themselves. Public transportation is like the Disneyland for schizophrenics. It’s like a fun roller coaster for people suffering from bi-polar disorder.

I’m sure that these people need mental health help, obviously, and most likely a home as well. But my question is, if you’re a homeless person with a multiple-personality disorder, where are you going on the bus? We know you are not going to work or home, so really, where are you going?

The other day I’m riding the Metro train, and I saw something I never thought existed… a Chinese lady talking to herself. I’ve seen most every other race doing this, but this was rather unique because she was actually speaking in Chinese. I assume she was angry with her imaginary friend(s) because she was yelling at them… and that’s when it hit me… we are all crazy!

Maybe we “sane people” are the crazier ones. Maybe we don’t see the imaginary people that are all around us, and that makes us stupid. They’re right in front of our faces and we just can’t see them. I never judge anyone because they talk to themselves riding public transportation. Sometimes you can overhear some of the wisest things, such as “ARGLKDS HDFHSJLJ DLFHDJKSHFJ SDLHFEUUW!!!!!”

Like the other day a guy yelled “I’m gonna kill everybody up in here!” And you know what? He’s smart. He’s thinking what we all are probably thinking, except he’s got the courage to say it out loud, and then proceeded to urinate in his pants. That’s true courage. I’m not at that level of human freedom yet.

But my question remains… why public transportation? …and why only the train or bus? You never see anyone acting up on a plane, and if they do, they’re catching a quick beat down.

Is there a secret society of public transportation crazies that identify each other by their “haven’t showered in a year” smell? I don’t know, but the dollar-twenty-five fare is sure worth the entertainment.

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